I've got so much on my mind I've got to get it off if I have any chance of focusing on anything else. I've got piles of papers to grade and lesson planning to do but cannot get a few things out of my mind long enough to focus no matter how hard I try.
So here I go rambling...
I am a HOMEBIRTHER
I am an INTACTIVIST
I am an ATTACHED PARENT
I am an EXTENDED BREASTFEEDER
I am ANTI-VACCINATIONS
I am a BABY-WEARER
I am an EXTENDED REAR FACING mama
I am a BED SHARER
All of these things make me so different from most of the world. I have always had a hard time making friends. Growing up I didn't know that I was so different from everybody else. I knew that I was born at home and it wasn't normal but I didn't know how counter-culture it was.
Now I am a mother and occasionally I'll try to make mama friends but I fail every time. I am so judgemental and I try to stop it but there are some things I just can't get over. I cannot be friends with people who circumcise their sons.
I enjoyed my day off with a dear friend of mine who I've known since I was two years old. She's getting married this summer and I'm not sure how the subject came up but she informed me that her fiance said that he wouldn't marry her if she didn't agree to have their future son's foreskin amputated. I told her if she has a boy and mutilates his genitals, I can't be her friend. It's something I'm really passionate about and cannot let go. So I revisited a favorite blog that I haven't read in a while and found this post http://www.drmomma.org/2011/01/neonatal-circumcision-video-for.html I attempted to watch the video but only made it about 3 minutes in before I was so disturbed I had to turn it off. Then for the next 3 hours I laid awake in bed tormented by decisions of the ignorant, heartless people who are make decisions they don't have the right to make.
I could go on and on but I think I'll leave it at that for now.
what a boring world it would be if everyone was the same, had the same views and made the same decisions.
ReplyDeletewhile you or i could never make the decision to circumcise our sons, others can and they are going to have to live with that decision for the rest of their lives. it is an outdated inhumane barbaric practice that is going out of fashion. we can only hope more and more parents will become informed and end it altogether.
Although I advocate all those things you listed and strive for them I also try to remind myself that not everyone will agree and that we as mothers have no right to judge. I struggle with criticism and ignorance that runs rampant in my own family but I try to educate and when I fail I let it go. You cannot expect everyone to be like you, but I wood certainly love to see a world of breastfed, intact, and cloth diapered babies. Hopefully like Natalie said that embarrassing and barbaric ritual will no longer be in fashion. In the meantime let's continue advocating for what we know is right but without harsh judgement.
ReplyDeleteI miss u!
I miss
Sorry for the typos I'm on my iPhone!
ReplyDeleteTo quote mom, "When you know better, you do better!"
ReplyDeleteI have many friends who I love dearly who have made the choice to circumcise. I don't agree with it but most people who make this decision did it out of ignorance and were not as informed as you and I! All you can do is spread the information like you are doing but in a more loving manner.
Valeria: We all judge people, what is important to remember is that while we can and should judge peoples behavior (for ex: that person lets his kids play in the street unsupervised...as a result my kids are not going over their house to play), we cannot judge what is in someones heart.
I suspect that most parents circumcize their sons with the best of intentions but they just don't know how horrible it really is.
Shauna, I completely agree with everything you said. Of course we judge, but I am more referring to what is the best way to get the point across. Judging in a more loving manner, and using educated approaches, we will get our knowledge across to people more efficiently than if we just harshly criticize hem and shut them out.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, that completely sums it up. When you know better, you do better.
Completely agree with you Valeria! :)
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I love your name!
I just wanted to add that you are not so different from most of the world as you say...but very much like most of the world (our country is very different than most of the world). In many countries, homebirth is common, most of the world does not circumsize their children, the average age for weaning when you look at the entire world is age 7, and this is really the only country I know of in the whole world where people actually put their baby in a seperate place to sleep. Nothing that you are doing is unnatural or out of the 'norm" from the rest of the world =) And THAT is a good thing!
ReplyDeleteI thought I would add my two cents to this compelling post...for what its worth!
ReplyDeleteI was 21 when I had my first child. Up to that point in my life the only thing I had questioned and researched was my faith. I thought I was good, and didn't have much else to worry about. I didn't question any thing! I slept with my baby, wore my baby, and breastfed my baby on demand. Anything else though, I did what I was expected to do as a new parent, ie. what the pediatrician told me to. I have to say that it wasn't until baby #3 that I started questioning. Baby #4, I found my voice. And with baby #5, um, excuse me, no one was touching my kids without a fight! What I'm trying to say is, I think we (parents) all do the best we can, with what we have and where we are at, at whatever stage in life and always out of love for our children. I hope that you will not close yourself off to potentially helping another mom see the light. You just may come across someone who is in her "questioning stage" and you can unlock the door for her.