My son is special

I'm going to share something now that I've gone back and forth about sharing. At first I thought, no I shouldn't talk about it at all because I don't want my son to know that he is different than other boys. But now that I've read about it, I've discovered it's better to talk to him about it at appropriate times of course so that he knows he's okay and there's nothing wrong with him, nothing to be ashamed of in his life. Also now knowing that his condition affects 1 in 250 male births I know there are other mother's like me out there seeking information.

My son was born with a birth defect called hypospadias where the urethral opening is not where it is supposed to be as in the other 249 of 250 male births. Fortunately he has a minor (glanular) case. The pediatrician recommended that we take him to a pediatric urologist for a consultation. So we've been waiting for 2 months and finally went to our appointment yesterday. The doctor was very nice and quickly examined the baby. When I say quickly, I mean he only took 10 seconds to look at it then told us to get him dressed again. He said like I already knew inside that it was a mild case and he would be fully functioning. He offered that if we wanted surgery, it would be for cosmetic purposes only. That it would be an easy common surgery and they'd be happy to do it. Of course they'd be happy to do it because that's what doctors are trained to do! But not on MY son. My son was made special for a reason.

In moderate and severe cases, surgery is required. If they are not done, the boys can often never urinate standing up which is our cultural norm. Often times hypospadias is accompanied by chordee (crooked penis) which causes painful erections and therefore intercourse. Also, if the hole is far displaced, the sperm would travel down rather than up to the urethra making it difficult to have children. Unfortunately there is a 10% failure rate with the surgery making repeat surgeries necessary and sometimes they're never successful and poor boys come out worse than they went in.

Even if the doctor did say that surgery was necessary for Tre, I don't think that I would have done it. If you know me, you know I question what people say and don't agree with unnecessary interventions which doctors like to claim as necessary. I know that as a parent I am responsible for making many decisions regarding my son's life but circumcision and other penis surgeries are definitely decisions that men should make on their own when they're ready.

And finally, I know why he was born with it. Using the law of attraction, I unknowingly called it upon him. When I was pregnant, I did not want the baby to be a boy. I did not want to have to deal with a teenage son who was doing bad things including sleeping around with multiple partners. Again, I know it's my responsibility to teach my son to behave properly but some things are learned through peers and the environment even though parents do the best they can to prevent them. Many men with hypospadias are very self conscious and embarrassed of their penises. Some prefer to experiment with men, others stay unmarried and virgins for life or at least until far into their lives. I do not want these things for my son by any means... unless of course he is gay which would be fine. I want him to be a normal healthy person and that includes having healthy relationships. I'm not going to raise him as I was that you can only have sex once you're married but I'm going to teach him to only sleep with women who he's in love with. So this is how I'm dealing with his condition.

I want others to know that if they are a parent of a child with hypospadias they are not alone. If anybody has more information or experience with the condition that they'd like to hear, I'd love to read or listen.